To New York, and Valentines day

To New York, Penn Station and Valentines Day

So I am currently writing on route to New York chasing after my dance dreams and I’m super excited. There isn’t really any internet even in business class where I’ll be until we reach the boarder (in about 2 hours).  SO I’m trying to catch little snippets of wifi from the Go Stations we pass. It’s a little crazy how slow the train is, I guess because it is still on the GO tracks it will have to be going at a comparable speed. But It’s still way nicer than a mega bus. I actually feel so classy right now! And although, the tickets were quite pricy, it’s an experience, and if Papa can help me pay for it, all the better! Next time I’ve already made a mental note that I will be taking Porter Airlines because Pj takes it all the time and Papa even looked up that there are student discounts with Porter. I have to say though, on the train there is some really great scenery. Also I hope to get up and walk around at least every 2 hours, I feel that would be a good idea to help prevent all the potential stiffness and such after a long day travelling.

That reminds me, tasks still to accomplish: Write to MIP- what is movement, and call the hostel to notify of late arrival.

I just want to recap a bunch of things that have been floating in my mind but also the exciting things that have happened this far for our reading week.

The first is Valentines Day. The 14th!It was Gillian’s birthday, which I wished her via text first thing in the morning. I had a very productive but peaceful morning to myself which I always like. Pj texted me that morning wondering what I thought of the previous night’s performance we saw (TDT/New York). And then I thought, Hey! If he’s texting me, I might as well ask him too! See I had to pick up and find some costume pieces for choreo this year and I was determined to scope out my discount options first. So I naturally texted every girlfriend of mine who I haven’t seen in a while and who would be a good shopping buddy. Pj was an after thought but I figured what’s the harm in asking? I also asked Sam, my Dutch/Moroccan counterpart. Anyways, I ended up going to Value Village on Queen East with PJ and had arranged to meet up with Sam later because he was staying at a friends’ place. PJ was actually really great to have as my little personal fashion consultant. Before we even went to value village, we got a Starbucks molten chocolate hot chocolate which was their valentines day special which was pretty good. The molten part was once soft chocolate with crunchy shit that sank to the bottom of the cup which; by the time I got to it, had hardened and became impossible to eat because it was so far down the cup, and I had no way to get at it.

Anyways I ended up buying these brown stretchy pants that were originally from anne taylor. But yesterday I wore them during rehearsal and they kept falling down! I could’ve sworn they fit in the store! Oh well, there goes 16$. You win some, you loose some But they are still nice pants.  After Value Village, we stopped at a little bakery that had great décor, and looked very rustic and quaint! PJ and I shared a butter brioche and he bought an artisan bread stick to go with his wine and cheese party later. He is one classy fella. He really does enjoy the refined things in life. Takes pride in dressing a certain way and maintaining himself in a certain way. Is he metrosexual? I don’t even know what that means, but it’s possible. He’s also my best friend, he’s so great!

Then I walked around in the Eaton Center for a bit and spent a good hour or so in Indigo looking at New York maps and books. It was great, I had this blessed little chunk of time to myself which was much needed after being social with people but also refreshing to be on my own too. It’s a comfortable thing really. And I’m hoping the best will come out of this trip too, because I feel pretty independent. I just need to be more assertive and speak up when I have questions, and just ask. Asking truly is a powerful and helpful tool to get around and to stay safe and sane.  Guess what. I’m 20. That’s pretty crazy right?! Well hell yeah I’m doing this! And Maybe I’ll even get to the Hubbard Street Dance Theatre Audition.  We’ll see. Either way I feel like I should dance twice. But I’ll see when I get to that point. Also I think its especially refreshing because I won’t have to be consoled or bossed around by strong personalities in my class. Although I love one of my classmates in particular to bits, I feel its good to have space from her too. At least I’m starting to believe it a bit more. Like I can see my easy- going way of being – completely overcome by the precise planning and scheduling of others. Which can then make it feel like I just tagged along instead of had an active role in the process of getting myself there. Leaning on others and relying on them to keep everyone in top form is never something I want to rely on. Then no one would want to travel with me I’m pretty sure. I guess only time can tell now though. I’ll be arriving late so wish me luck! Passing Grimsby now, Lovely orchards! I wonder what it was like for Taylor to grow up in Grimsby. Its almost like a taste of the country in this mix bag of energy and ethnicities that we call Ontario.

Anyways, back to the story. I met up with Sam at around 8pm and he biked his way down, which is crazy because it was literally so cold! I felt pretty, I had put on some make up that morning and had my “gumball” sweater on. I felt cozy. Also I kept my hat on the whole time with just a few strands of my blonde hair poking out. I felt good.  Sam was Sam. He’s so cool man, he’s actually so athletic its great and he has all the gear of a real outdoors man! We went to that place on Yonge for dinner, the one that has the windows open during the summers and looks like a pub/brewery. It was lovely. The basketball allstar game was on; on the screen behind me, so  I guess that was a good thing just in case conversation got slow, there was something for the man of this duo to get distracted by. Anyways just so we’re clear hear, because I have a feeling what I type here might haunt me later… I approached this meeting completely as friends. And I thought it was so great to hang out with him and even better that Sam could just be cool to hang out with me. Nothing more, nothing less. Just catching up. And  when you haven’t talked in a while its really nice to see one another because then there’s a lot to talk about.

I think that’s why I have problems with basic and simple communication between friends and family members. Because like I’m still me. And what on earth would you want me to talk to you about even if I called my mom or my dad or even Nana once a week? I don’t know,  it seems a little excessive to me. But the problem is, then I forget when was the last time I spoke with them and then weeks have sometimes turned into months and to them, who knows what I could be doing.  Anyways. It was great to catch up with Sam and he invited me to the Deadpool movie where Spencer was also going to join in on the movie fun. I said yes but had to flake last minute to prep for my rehearsal so I think I chose the better option; especially because I had a lot I needed to accomplish before New York.  Anyways I called him later and asked about how the movie was, which he told me was great. But it wasn’t until some time after that phone call did I realize I didn’t mention anything about myself- like I was going to tell him how well the rehearsal went, but I completely forgot. I’m going to try to hold onto that and remember that. The feeling of just calling someone to ask a question about something they experienced and not really care about me, myself and I all the time. I think this could be a stepping stone to actually growing up! I’m starting to genuinely care about others! Its kind of exciting. Like I never thought I would like , let a lone work with kids as a job (lifeguarding, instructing, coaching). But here I am. These things just take time I guess. I also need to be a little less hard on myself for thinking selfish thoughts at times. I should learn to acknowledge more and judge myself less.

Sam and I shared dessert which was on the house because our desserts came sooooo late. I think we left around 10pm, on second thought, I think we sat down around 7:30pm. He had a burger, I think I’ll get that next time to be honest, it looked really good but I did make note how he removed the tomato and lettuce before he ate. Meanwhile I had a mediocre chicken sandwhich with avocado, that was missing more vegetables! Oh well. That’s what you get for eating out I suppose.

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